Another ending of another opening of another show

This isn’t really about food, but I’m writing it here.

So yesterday I lost my job.

I love euphemisms.

“Lost.” As if I just dropped it along the way or misplaced it somehow. Lost. As if it were a glove missing its partner that ends up sitting in a box behind the counter of a movie theater. Something I could put signs up around the neighborhood for, with little tear-off tabs bearing my phone number and the request for anyone who sees it to call.

Lost: One journalism job

Last seen March 6 in Santa Cruz.

Please call.

This isn’t the first time I’ve gotten laid off and in some respects, that does make it a little easier. Unfortunately, I moved across the country to take this job and now I feel confused and unsure, the rug pulled right out from under me in one unceremonious sweep.

It’s not completely unexpected. Journalism is a difficult industry plagued by economic worries making it not a choice for the faint of heart. You do it because you love it, because you can’t imagine doing anything else, because you want to tell stories and you want to get information to people and you want to help make the world at least a little less confusing to at least one person.

But journalism is a tyrant of a mistress. It will eat you alive if you aren’t careful. As the Horace Greeley quote I had posted on my desk goes, “Journalism will kill you but it will keep you alive while you’re doing it.”

I think maybe that’s my fear right now. I’m afraid that if I stop, it will kill me. Like a shark I must keep swimming or I’ll float up to the surface and die.

I’m being a bit hyperbolic.

But my basic point is that I’ve got to find ways to keep doing what I do, to keep trying to do it better than the day before. Writing about food and gluten-free stuff in this little corner of the Internet has always been a bit of a treat, a way to relax from the gloom and doom of crime reporting. Lately I’ve been too tired to even do that. Writing after writing and researching for hours all day was becoming a chore. That’s never a good thing.

I’m looking for that proverbial silver lining here or whatever other cliche you might prefer. Time for writing about other things I love and am curious about, more time to research and read, more time to run around on our beautiful beaches with Ms. Ruby Tuesday and more time, of course, to try out new recipes and ideas.

Perhaps more importantly, this will be a chance for me to take a little break and become re-invigorated once more – hopefully this time with even more gusto. At heart I’m Polish and if there’s anything you can say about the Polish people, it’s that we are resilient. We get knocked down, we get back up and we keep going – with or without our pierogies.


This entry was posted in favorites, grateful, Poland, rant, santa cruz. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Another ending of another opening of another show

  1. Valerie says:

    Girl, I am so sorry. It’s terrible and unfair and stupid. Let me know if you want to share a glass of wine over the phone and mull about crazy opportunities to report on gang wars in South America, or whatever the hell else starts to look appealing when the job opportunities look grim.

    I’m with you on the love of the job. I’m a slave to it. When I stopped doing it I completely lost myself. On weekends I didn’t get out of bed. I’m not me without it. Maybe that’s sad, but it makes me pretty happy actually.

    Once you figure out what you want to be when you grow up, don’t fuck with it.

    Anyway, I’m thinking about you and will soon start forwarding you all job opportunities I come across, especially if they bring me closer to you.

  2. Stacey says:

    You just lost a bad lover that did you a big favor.

  3. Lauren says:

    just stumbled upon your blog and enjoying it!

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