Holy wafflewich Batman

This post is brought to you by the letters P for procrastination and D for distraction:

Awhile ago I spotted the Ian’s brand’s “Maple Sausage and Egg Wafflewich” on sale at the Hannaford in East Greenbush for some absolutely ridiculous price. I believe it was $1.17. For a package of two. And little else besides that ridiculously low price could have convinced me to try this bizarre-looking product. I’m quite happy living my fast food breakfast sandwich-less existence most of the time. The website tags this product as a way to “add some excitement to your morning!”

In general I find the primary colored packaging and goofy typography of the packaging of Ian’s products to be a bit jarring, and the last time I decided to try one of their gluten-free fast food knock-offs — overpriced chicken nuggets with an inner consistency that made me feel like I’d just taken a big bite of sawdust — it put me off the brand all together for awhile.

But, with a price of $1.17, how could I not dip my toe back in the Ian’s water?

Two gluten-free Eggo-like waffles sandwich a thin maple-flavored infused sausage patty and a perfect round of scrambled egg that has that rubbery consistency you find in a pressed egg patty that has been frozen and then reheated in an oven. Still, it’s not altogether terrible. The maple flavor was a little jarring and cloying. And I probably wouldn’t buy this again, especially since the regular price is, I assume, at least three times that bizarrely low price I spotted. At the same time, there was something strangely good about this, in a totally gross way.